12am

i wonder if you still can accept me
even when my nails are both unevenly painted black
even when my mascara smudged so bad because I cried every second
even when I purposely pierced my lips and eyebrows
even when I wear all-black and worn-out shirts
even when I put on that dark black lipstick
even when I smell like cigarettes
even when I smell like shit and am drunk
even when I dyed my hair out of frustration
even when I cry 24/7 in the bathroom
even when I still feel not okay after you tried to convince me
even when I'm on my darkest darkest side.

you've only seen a part of it
and I'm afraid to show it.
because I know that you're afraid of that side of me.
and most importantly I don't wanna lose you.
because I fucking care and love you.

but honey, I'm afraid that sometime, someday,
you'll finally see that version of me,
because I'm sure that I'm really on the edge of my breaking points.

I'll still love you no matter what,
but will you? love me endlessly too?

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